Thinking Out Loud

and you can remove the appliance curse at any time.  I will never, ever, bring up your new microwave.  In fact I wish I had one like it.  I want one just like yours.  You are so intelligent in your choice of microwaves.  Did I mention I love you and admire you and you are my hero?

There.  Remove the curse.  Please.  Over the last two months here is what has happened… I’ve probably missed a couple… Read the rest of this entry »

I’m at work today.  I just got in from a smoke break (my second for the day, and it’s almost 2:oo pm. – that’s pretty good for me) and I saw something I had to write down here.

The smoking area is in the back parking lot, and you can see the street where a lot of the people park to go to the casino.  I watched a couple of older couples (does that make sense) walking to their car.  In typical senior fashion, the two men were walking side by side, and the two women trailed along three or four steps behind.  When they got to their car, the two ladies jumped into the back seat, and the two men got in the front.

It’s not their fault, because the snow removal plan is a little lacking, but it was soon obvious they were stuck.  The guys got out to push, and one of the ladies got in the front to drive.  Unfortunately, co-ordination seemed to be a stumbling block.  One of the gents went to the back of the car, the other went to the front.  And they both started to push.  Despite this marvelous effort, the car was still not moving.

In a couple of minutes, the lady wound down the window, and I imagine she told them they should both push from the same end.  The men accepted this idea, and both of them walked to the other end.  The key word is BOTH. Not one.  BOTH of them walked to the other end.

They were once again pushing against each other with all their might. and the car still wasn’t going anywhere.  I could see the woman waving her arms at the one at the front, and I’m just thinking here, telling him he should go to the back where his helper is.  I’m pretty sure there was a remark about lack of intelligence I could hear even from my viewpoint, but I’m not positive.

I was just about to walk across the street to help out (after all, there was still two free sides to the car that I could push against) when a group of teenagers came along and basically lifted the car out of the ruts.

Aw well, back to work.

When the kids were living in this house, the old toilet “pooped out”  and went into continuous flush mode and needed some attention.  We bought several of the “universal fit” repair kits, but none of them actually fit, probably because the old fixture was a prototype for the new concept of indoor plumbing.

Anyway, we bought a new lo-water, lo-profile model and all should have been good.  Except for the fact that it actually flushed “#1″ sort of haphazardly, and any deposit you could actually be proud of was at least a double flusher.  All of that made the lo-water, environmentally friendly feature redundant.  The only solution was a “How to Use the Plunger” poster displayed prominently on the bathroom wall.

The fact still remains, it’s a good looking, futuristic toilet. I’m sure if I could hook it up to the internet, or use a USB plug and connect it to my computer, I could download an important update that would actually make it functional.  But alas, www. toilets-R-us.com seems to be down for the moment, so I need to revert to the old fashioned plunger and sewer snake method.  Or perhaps a sledge hammer.

I’m leaning toward the sledge hammer at the moment…

…then don’t say anything at all. When I was growing up, I heard that little proverb quite regularly.  I didn’t know it had an “or else” on the end of it.

A little while ago, I might have, maybe, perhaps, possibly, accidentally made fun of my brother’s new microwave and his absolute amazement that the new appliance had a popcorn button.  And a turntable.  And a coffee button.

Okay, I’m still making fun of him, but there’s  a couple of other old sayings that come to mind right now -  “You’ll get what’s coming to you,” “God will get you for that” and the ever popular “Now, what the f— ?!!!”  Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had the urge to start doing some of that artsy-fartsy stuff over the last few months.  So when the kids asked what I wanted for Christmas, I said a couple of tubes of paint, or paint brushes, or something like that.  I  just have to buy a few more colours now, and I’m  gonna start some practice stuff soon.

In the meantime, while waiting for Christmas (always a kid) I bought a new drawing tablet for my computer, because my old one was starting to skip.  Then I found a cool painting program called ArtRage that simulates real paint (well as close as you can get, with a computer anyway)

Here’s one of my humble attempts in the digital method – sorry FaceBookers – don’t know how this will show up there, you might have to click away from Facebook for a moment… (oh no! … Gasp! what if I can’t get back? AaaRGGH! what should I do? click on the view original post thing in Facebook) Read the rest of this entry »

I hardly ever look at my bank statements. I tend to simply trust the ATM machine, and when it tells me that the requested cash is not available, and to please choose another amount or account, that’s just fine with me. Read the rest of this entry »

No one ever says life is fair.

Now, I find out that I’m not old enough. Yes, it is hard to believe. I’m at the age where the Safeway people ask if I want help getting my groceries out to the car. I’ve had people tell me I could get my kids to help fill out an online registration form if I don’t have a computer or have difficulty. The MacDonald’s restaurant gives me coffee at the seniors rate. Read the rest of this entry »

I liked Atari. I even liked the original Nintendo. The Super Nintendo was almost too much for me, and by the time Play Sation came along I was lost.

The games got to be WAY too complicated for me. There were too many buttons, too many combinations of buttons, too much happening. It wasn’t fun any more. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone likes a trampoline.

There was some sort of a game going on here. Being old, with brittle and weak bones, I wasn’t going to get involved. I think it was called “bum fights” or something like that. I believe the idea was to try to make the other person fall off the trampoline, or at least lose their balance. Read the rest of this entry »

On Sunday afternoon, Graham, Ivy and Natasha came over for a while. It was a sunny afternoon (which turned sort of drab and cold later on) but we bar-b-qued some burgers and had a couple of beers.

Natasha, as usual, didn’t want too much to do with me. I’ve decided that’s okay. It’s one less Christmas gift to buy Read the rest of this entry »