It all started innocently  enough.

me:  “What’s new?”

brother: “We’re finally going to replace the flooring in our house.  Should start next week.”

me: “Great!  How long is that gonna take?”

brother: “Not too long.  They are coming in and doing it one room at a time (a good plan I thought, but didn’t say anything) and they move the furniture and everything. (moving the furniture first is even a better plan!)”

me: “Cool – and you’re getting the whole main floor done, right?”

brother: “Yeah – and we got new appliances too”

me: “wow – you’re going all out.  All hi-tech stuff I presume”

brother: “Not really – except the microwave.”

(here’s where it happened…)

brother: “Yeah – it’s got push buttons and dials and controls and stuff”

me: “mm hmm” (trying to sound impressed)

brother: “It has a button just for popcorn. You just push it, and the microwave knows it’s popcorn and cooks it.  And it’s supposed to taste better than the old way, and doesn’t burn”

me: “Really – wow, that’s some microwave!”

brother: “And the beeper works all the time.  Our old one didn’t work when it was cold.  It just made a huunn huuun sound, and it wasn’t even doing that all the time.”

me: “And does it have a button for re-heating coffee?”

brother: “yeah, yeah – I think so.  And it’s got a turn table thing so that food cooks evenly. The food goes round and round like a merry-go-round!”

me: “So your old one didn’t have that stuff.  It must have been really old. I pretty much thought all of that was standard.  In fact, I had to replace my old microwave a couple of weeks ago and it had all of that.  Even the popcorn button.”

brother: (slightly annoyed) “We’ve had it for a while…”

me: “So, your old one, did it have an electric start or did you have to kick start it?”

brother: CLICK

I never did get to ask him if his new “ice box” actually plugs into the wall, and makes ice,  rather than the need to haul ice to store in the bottom compartment to keep things cool.