Now, I find out that I’m not old enough. Yes, it is hard to believe. I’m at the age where the Safeway people ask if I want help getting my groceries out to the car. I’ve had people tell me I could get my kids to help fill out an online registration form if I don’t have a computer or have difficulty. The MacDonald’s restaurant gives me coffee at the seniors rate.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been trying to find a Wii video game system for three or four months. The sales people generally assume it’s not for me (“a gift for the grandchildren?”) and more than likely attribute senility, Alzheimer’s disease or some other dementia as the obvious infliction. That may well be true, but none the less, I want one for me. I’m not even sure I’ll allow the grandkids to play with it if I ever find one.

When I was in Alberta last week, I figured the “big” cities of Calgary or Edmonton would have some game systems in stock. No such luck. I’m still Wii-less.

Apparently, I didn’t look at the right places in Calgary. The CBC website has an article about a group of young people who found five Wii’s and donated them to a senior citizens home.

My quest continues. But I never considered I was too young.

I have a new job with SaskWater. I officially begin working (for real) on the 19th of November, but I have orientation, and training and other preliminary stuff before that. It’s casual employment – that means they call me when no one else will work, I think – so I’m sure I’ll be working a lot of stat holidays and such.

And that’s okay. I didn’t really want a job that took hours of work away from people that needed it (younger people – with families, to be more specific) In fact, I wasn’t even sure I wanted a job couple of months ago. But, renovations are expensive, and Christmas is coming, so a little extra money each month will come in handy.

As my brother so quickly pointed out to me when I told him I had applied for the job, and gave him a brief description of what I would be doing if I got it, it is kind of Homer Simpsonish. I mean, looking in from the outside, it would appear that it’s not really a job that requires a lot of skill and/or intelligence. It’s pretty much a control room with a bunch of computer screens, flashing lights, and a fridge. However, there is more to it than meets the eye, but I’ll just let you think whatever you want to think.

I thought I was still an employed person until the end of May, but apparently they way payout of vacation and other stuff works, yesterday was my last day. Not that it matters – either way, I was not going to work today.

As it turns out, I have three days of retirement before I start a new job. Just another long weekend I guess.

On Monday, I’m going to work with an old friend. Well he’s not an old (like ancient) friend, but a long time friend. Come to think of it, he’s old too. He is a year older than me and retired from the City of Moose Jaw about a year ago.

Anyway, we’re gonna be doing various landscaping work around town and he has about two months of work lined up. He’s assured me it’s only six hours a day, four days a week. We’ll see – somehow I suspect it’s gonna be more than that.

Plans for the first day of retirement:

• Go for coffee at 10:00 AM, so that I can piss off all of the working people who know that I can go at any time. I also plan on sitting in a big booth all by myself, and take an hour to drink my coffee, just to take up space
• Complain about how long everyone is taking about coffee breaks
• Tell anyone who will listen that things were better in the “olden days”
• Wander aimlessly, confused and slowly, and absolutely in front of everyone, through the mall, stop quickly, and scowl at anyone younger than 30
• Mumble to myself and scratch myself in private places, possibly fart loudly, again in the most public place I can find
• Go to the casino, pick the most popular slot machine, bet a penny at a time, and check each spin to make sure I wasn’t cheated
• Complain about the high cost of living, remind everyone that cigarettes used to cost 55 cents a pack, and gas was 17 cents a litre
• Any other annoying thing that retired geezers do, just because they are retired geezers and no one will say anything

Truth is, I do a lot of that stuff already.

I guess some things don’t change

PS: Please help me out. I know there are some specific things I need to do to irritate, and a complete list would be appreciated

Imagine that. Lee Lynds with a investment manager. That seems a little surreal to me.

1. A riddle in which a fanciful question is answered by a pun.
2. A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma.

I have one.

Most people have a conundrum from time to time, and now I have one.

My paradoxical problem (big words, huh?) is relatively simple to resolve, but each answer returns me to the conundrum. Which is what a conundrum is, after all.

I’ve decided that there isn’t a real need to get up early in the morning. I have a whole day to accomplish what needs to be done, and tomorrow if I don’t get finished. Seems like good, sound logic, right?

I’ve also decided there’s no reason to go to bed just because it’s the traditional bedtime. There’s always something on the Discovery channel or one of the movie channels. And since there’s not a need to get up early, I can stay up later. That just seems to follow.

However, when I stay up late, I sleep in later, and don’t get up when I should because, as I said earlier, I have all day. And I can stay up later if I have to, because I can sleep later tomorrow.

But, getting up later tends to piss me off, because now I feel that I’ve wasted the whole day. It doesn’t help that I require two pots of coffee before I do anything except feed the dog.

So, despite the fact that I don’t want to go to bed at a “decent” time, because I’m a grownup and can decide on my own, the grownup in me says, “You should go to bed, so you can get up early tomorrow and not waste the whole day.”

Then I think, “but I have the whole day, so I can stay up a little later – just set the alarm clock so that I get up earlier.”

And there it is, you see – the conundrum is back. I don’t have to get up early, ’cause I have all day to do whatever it is I have to do. And who wants to get up early when they don’t really have to?

Conundrum, conundrum, conundrum

That’s a fun word, isn’t it?

Apparently, “growing up” and “storm chasing” is a contradiction in terms according to some. My sister said (not relating to this subject at all, just as a comment in general about my sanity – thanks for your opinion, Sherry )

“I dont really think you are losing it all that bad (yet) Unless you do the storm chasing thing. Then I might think so. It does sound interesting, however, it does sound just a little crazy too. Not so sure that that is the thing I will do when I get as old as you (just had to throw that in there) I mean have you watched Twister???”

Regardless, I still intend on spending a summer doing just that. At least one summer.

That’s what the little logo for this blog symbolizes. It’s supposed to be a ribbon, twisting up like a tornado.

Most people never see a twister when they are storm chasing. I don’t expect to be one of the few lucky ones. If nothing else, it will be a chance to see some parts of North America I’ve never seen. I plan on doing it as cheap as possible – camping as often as I can, cooking my own food, etc.

I checked out some storm chasing stuff after that comment, beginning at Wikipedia, and then at Google.

Wikipedia had this to say:

“Storm chasing is broadly defined as the pursuit of any severe weather condition, regardless of motive… While witnessing a tornado is the biggest objective for many chasers, many chase thunderstorms and delight in seeing cumulonimbus structure, watching a barrage of hail and lightning, and seeing what skyscapes unfold.

“Storm chasing is chiefly a recreational endeavor, with motives usually given toward photographing the storm for personal reasons.”

So, as crazy as it may seem to some, I’m sticking with “recreational endeavor” and “personal reasons.”

I have more to say about my storm chasing ambitions at Storm Chasin’.

It’s kind of scary, but at the same time I’m looking forward to taking some time off before I decide exactly what I want to do.